Another week has passed and, although I know I’m making progress, I’m still reeling from the stormy battle raging in my head with these angry old blue prints of mine. One day, I feel courageous, confident and powerful ready to conquer the world! Then, the next day or two later, I wake up ready to greet each day with love in my heart and I abruptly feel disappointed, sad and deflated, like someone sucked all of the helium out of me, stealing my high, as though I were a mylar balloon. Somedays, I experience these myriad of emotions multiple times throughout the course of the day. I must confess I can’t recall how many times I’ve had to start my 7-day Mental Diet over…I’ve purposely lost count!
I share these sometimes-brief, other-times-interminable draining emotional moments, not as a whiney complainer but as a dutiful observer. This is the aforementioned progress for me since, in my old life as I’ve come to realize, I was more of a drama queen than I care to admit – not one of my proudest moments, I’m afraid. However, the beauty of all of this as my new life unfolds in technicolor detail, even as the war rages on in the tattered battlefield of my mind, I rely heavily on my readings, mantras, meditations, shapes, movie board and blog to help pull me back into my brilliant sunshiny self because I’m so very committed to this journey of growth and I recognize this is part of the process.
The only way out is through and the best part is…thank goodness inner-peace and calm is waiting on the otherside!